By John Asiegbu.
Every human being experiences feelings, expresses emotions and gets into moods. The problem is, not many people know how to control their feelings, emotions and moods. These three are the basic things that make up our Emotional Intelligence (EI).
In this book, John Asiegbu begins by adequately explaining to us the difference between these elements of our emotional intelligence. This is because; we can only control what we understand. The first step towards improving your emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and study your emotions and then consciously decide how you want to respond to each feeling as it comes up.
He goes further to explain that it is okay to express thought, feelings and beliefs, because not doing so is simply hiding ourselves from who we are and not letting others perceive us rightly. Because not every thought or feeling may be acceptable at different situations, he urges that we express ourselves with a level of assertiveness which allows us say the truth about how we feel without being either aggressive or passively accepting wrong. Expressing your emotions is healthy for your state of mind and EI.
The ability to control your emotions is a powerful tool towards improving your emotional intelligence. But beyond controlling your own emotions, is the ability to manage other’s emotions which if done well will hinder a lot of problems we face in our communication with people. One way John shows us how to manage others emotions is the ability to put ourselves in their shoes, then take control of what they are feeling, then try to guide them into our own calm state of mind. This is especially important in the place of work and how superiors communicate with their sub-ordinate and also how sub-ordinate communicate with one another.
Keeping a positive mind and making a conscious decision to be happy irrespective of the situations you find yourself, is a good way to control your emotions and be able to manage other’s emotions.
Lastly, John picked up a component that has a great effect on our emotional intelligence that we seldom pay attention to. Sleep. He explains using studies previously made on how a good consistent amount of sleep helps improve our emotional intelligence. He says sleep is important to your emotional well being.
In conclusion, John calls us into a place of actively paying attention to our feelings and emotions by applying the various steps laid in the book one at a time. This he suggests will go a long way in improving our Emotional Intelligence.
REVIEW DONE BY: JOY YAKUBU AND SMART EMMANUEL